It’s never easy to say goodbye to someone whom you’ve built a relationship with over years, or even just a few months. But the truth is that sometimes two people simply aren’t meant to be. In such a case, there comes a point at which both parties need to recognize what’s best in order to prevent prolonging any further stress or anguish for everyone involved (family and friends included!).
Of course, it’s trickier for couples that have already made legal, emotional, and spiritual commitments to one another for life. (We’ll save the topic of divorce for another article, Catholic readers!) So here are a few sample cases in which it’s better just to move on from a relationship before you’ve decided to tie the knot:
1. Continually Compromised Trust
Everyone makes mistakes, and every wrongdoer deserves a one-time pass (except, maybe, he who sleeps with your mother – some acts are simply unpardonable). But when someone betrays a partner again and again, there’s something about the relationship that’s clearly lacking. Furthermore, even if the cheater/liar can successfully argue that he or she is remorseful, it will likely be difficult for his or her partner to maintain the same level of trust in that person ever again. Though not required, granting someone a “do over” is almost always acceptable, but third and fourth chances are for chumps.
2. Irreconcilable Differences
Do you find yourself fighting with your partner over the same topics again and again? Are the arguments over larger issues, such as glaring personality incompatibilities, or misaligned values (i.e. over children, religion, or politics)? Plenty of couples have worked through such discord, but being unable to reach any productive conclusions or make any progress at the end of each quarrel doesn’t bode well for the relationship. Every couple fights – but the ones that fight well are the couples that make it in the long run.
3. Repeat Break-ups
Ironically, couples engaging in serial breakups seem to have the most trouble recognizing the obvious toxicity of their relationship. The list of on-again / off-again celeb couples goes on and on: Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber; Rihanna and Chris Brown (okay, they had some other problems, too…); Sammi and Ronnie of Jersey Shore (okay, I’m using the term “celebrity” loosely here). The point is that cyclical daters simply get addicted to the drama, which rarely allows for a healthy situation. If you can’t go more than a few months without breaking up, think before you decide to reunite once again.
4. Personal Instability
Whether due to unemployment, family issues, health problems, trauma, or even mental illness, some people aren’t ready or able to care for someone else. Such individuals should focus on themselves before taking on the responsibilities of a romantic relationship. Don’t be afraid to own up to this and admit that you need time to yourself. Or, if you sense that your partner might need to grow on his or her own before committing to the needs of another human being, be the bigger person and give that person the space they need — whether he or she understands it or not.
5. She Says So
I have to be blunt with this one: if your partner says that she no longer feels the same about you, it’s over. Plenty of guys and girls have asked me in one form or another, “how do I convince her that it can still work out?” But if your partner’s heart simply isn’t in it, then you’ve gotta let go. That’s not to say that you can’t wait a day or two for the dust to settle before maturely talking out the situation and pleading your case – but beyond this one last Hail Mary attempt at patching things up, you must respect your partner’s feelings and stay broken up.
See original article here.