With so many new trends and terminologies in the modern dating scene, it can be difficult to keep up. Most recently, much debate has sparked online concerning how the viral 90-day rule is influencing the rules that come with exclusive dating.

Is 3 months the right amount of time to decide on the status of a relationship? Or should the timeline depend on the specific scenario and dating setup?

How Does the 90-Day Rule Work?

The 90-day dating rule stems from a growing trend in modern singles looking to find love more intentionally. Much like the “sunset clause” dating trend, the 90-day rule aims to put a definitive limit on two people spending time together before committing to an official relationship.

Essentially, the concept suggests that, in a span of 3 months, two people should already work on getting to know each other and assessing their compatibility through meaningful interaction and exploring each other’s interests, values, and lifestyles.

After a span of 90-days, the two should already have enough information to have a good sense of where they would like the relationship to go from there. Maybe they would decide to start exclusively dating, start living together, or simply form a firm commitment to each other.

At its core, the 90-day rule exists to help hopeful singles put value on the time, resources, and emotional energy they expend on going on dates. Because the concept suggests a clear timeline, singles are less likely to enter ambiguous situations that result in the much-dreaded situationships.

The 90-Day Rule: Pros and Cons

While the 90-day rule can seem pretty straightforward on the surface, it has been subject to various criticisms online. While some are more than ready to defend the concept for its various benefits, some are also quick to suggest that the 90-day rule can negatively influence blossoming relationships.

For some experts, the 90-day rule may be too short a timeline for two people to really get to know each other. While data shows that 45.2 percent of people began dating after less than a month, some can also take more time to open up to each other.

By imposing a strict timeline of 90 days, some people may feel pressured to make the relationship work instead of naturally letting it blossom. Alternatively, those who don’t immediately feel a connection after 3 months may choose to break up the relationship even if it has the potential to develop further.

As for the pros of the 90-day rule, most advocates for the concept mostly point out the fact that it can help avoid dating site situationships—a scenario that up to 39 percent of Americans have experienced.

Since the 90-day rule imposes a strict timeline, singles are more encouraged to avoid beating around the bush and to instead label the relationship according to what they feel for each other after the 3-month getting-to-know-you stage.

Similarly, the 90-day rule can also be a lifesaver for those struggling to find the time to date and meet potential matches. Since the rule promotes the idea that it’s okay to call it quits after 90 days if it doesn’t work out, there’s less chances for people to delay breaking up out of respect or consideration for the other person.

Advice for Applying the 90-Day Rule

While much has been said concerning the viral 90-day rule, there’s always a variety of ways you can go about applying it in real life. Below are some helpful tips to consider:

1. Think of the rule as a guide

Rather than adhering to the 90-day rule strictly, it’s better to think of it as a guide that can help you further get to know someone you’re interested in. As such, don’t feel pressured to end the relationship at a later or earlier date as you see fit.

2. Be honest about your preferred timeline

The 90-day rule isn’t some universal truth applicable to all. If it sounds too lengthy or too short for your preferences, make sure to be honest about it early on.

3. Define what “exclusive dating” actually means

While the term “exclusive dating” can seem pretty straightforward, different people will have different ideas as to what it actually means. To avoid conflict later on, make sure to define what the term means to you and to the other person.

4. Focus on consistency rather than intensity

The first 90 days of any relationship will always be something like a Honeymoon Period. Because of this, it’s highly important to center your focus on how the person treats you consistently rather than how intensely they express their emotions. This can help you get a better idea of what they would be like in the future, should you commit to a long-term relationship with them.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask questions

One good thing about the 90-day rule is that it encourages people to get to know each other early on. So, even if you’re shy to ask about certain questions, try your best to take this opportunity to get to know the other person as best as you can. After all, 90 days is a pretty short amount of time!

Final Thoughts

As with most dating trends these days, it’s highly important to take such concepts with a grain of salt rather than some strict rule you have to follow. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you’re able to get to know someone comfortably enough to decide whether it’s worth pursuing a long-term connection with them.