For decades women are expected to be the perfect partner. Someone who takes care of her partner’s needs and provides the necessary nurturing for the relationship to work.

Recent psychological studies, however, casts a different light on men’s and women’s observed dating behaviors. A Psychology Today article published in 2022 shows a decreasing number of dating opportunities for heterosexual men because women have higher standards in dating.

Holding a higher benchmark in dating and relationships, in general, can be a good thing. It only means that someone won’t settle for less. Let’s face it, relationships do take work and those who want a happy and fulfilling one are looking out for a partner who checks their standards.

Below are several explanations for why women are becoming more selective in dating.

• Nature and Nurture

Although biological aspects are often ignored, they are one of the most fundamental reasons we are drawn to a probable partner.

As humans, we are geared towards finding a partner most suitable to continue our species. Evolution has taught us to select the best mate we can find to procreate, adapt, and evolve.

Dating is the starting point of this biological responsibility. Standards are set to ensure that a partner can produce strong and healthy offspring and can provide stability and protection for the family in the long run.

Even if raising a family is not the main reason why we seek possible partners, we are subconsciously hardwired to search for these qualities.

• Modern Dating

The rise of online dating is found to have a significant factor in the increase in dating standards set by women. The movement for women’s empowerment is also a contributing factor. Independent women nowadays rarely look for a man who can provide for them because they are capable of caring for themselves.

Women today are happier, more secure, and more contented than in previous ages. They have more independence and experts believe that they are self-sufficient as well. This explains their demand for someone who demonstrates the same qualities.

The modern dating scene provides a platform to openly choose suitable companions, and easily disregard those who don’t fit the bill.

According to research, 62% of online dating users are men, thus lowering their chances of finding their match. This explains why most male online daters look randomly “searching for singles” however women are being more cautious.

• Societal Pressures

Our society has put a bigger role on women when it comes to relationships. In return, they expect to find a companion who can also offer the same contribution to the table.

Women are raising the bar in dating because it reflects what they can offer in the relationship. If she knows she can meet her partner’s emotional, physical, as well as financial demands, she ought to expect the same from the other party.

Our current social structure openly accepts women who can assert themselves and go for what they want. This societal shift from years before has greatly influenced women to select men who fit into their set criteria.

• Relationship Investment and Satisfaction

Another reason women are becoming more cautious in their choices for partners is the level of emotional commitment they are going to put into a romantic partnership. Relationship investment is the commitment and effort you put toward having a lasting and worthwhile partnership.

This may sound like a financial transaction, but this factor can offer insights into the pros and cons one has in staying or leaving a relationship.

More and more women are willing to give something of themselves in the relationship in the hope of reaping something equal or even more.

• Available Alternatives

Aside from the sheer number of men they can date, the world today offers so many alternatives for women to consider. More choices mean they can afford to be pickier and more selective.

Modern dating has transformed the way we meet and interact with people around us. Today, we can easily select and discard a possible match from the available dating pool with a simple swipe and tap.

• Safety, Happiness, and Stability

The number of women in violent and abusive relationships is staggering. Statistics also show that women are more prone to be murder victims of their male partners. Because of these numbers, women are now putting great emphasis on their safety when dating.

Women are more prone to be in danger if they happen to choose the wrong partner to date. And the best way to protect themselves is by thoroughly examining the behavior and qualities of those they are dating.

Happiness and stability are also major factors in why women choose to stay. A healthy and fulfilling companionship is a happy relationship. If a woman can sense that you can’t make her happy in the long run, she will never give you a chance.

The Simple Solution

One may be intimated by a woman with high standards. However, if you want her you need to work on yourself and your confidence. Continue to improve yourself and exude the qualities of a man worthy of love and respect.

Obviously, women are on the hunt for men who can meet their needs. So, if you are not man enough to meet them at their level, they will think unworthy of you.

Don’t rush a woman into a commitment. Take your time to get to know her and yourself better. Sometimes, the longer you wait, the better is the person suited for you.  

Get to know yourself more. Once you know yourself better it is easier to find someone who aligns with your core values.