We all have an ideal version of our future partner in our heads, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Some of us prefers a tall blonde girl, others are always on the hunt for a woman with cat-like eyes. Nonetheless, if you’ve been feeling like your romantic life is in a rut, it is probably time to start trying someone outside of your type!
The Science Behind Our Types
Having a type means we always gravitate toward certain qualities when we try to build a personal bond with another person. Relationship experts believe that there are several reasons why we are constantly drawn to similar kinds of people over and over again. For example, from the evolutionary perspective, we have these types due to survival reasons.
In the early days of our existence on this planet, life was essentially rough. For this reason, women would go for males who were physically healthy and strong because they were better at providing protection and natural resources. The male humans, on the other hand, preferred women who were fertile and came from good genetic lineage.
On top of survival reasons, our personal history also contributes to our types of a romantic partner. Our early experiences with our parental figures are the biggest factors to consider because they define our sense of self-worth. In addition, these early-year experiences also define our expectations for how others should behave around us.
Another factor that can contribute to our definition of types is our attachment style. It can lead to us being interested in and unconsciously choosing people based on how they make us feel. There are certain attachment styles that can lead us to a healthy and beneficial relationship, but there are other attachment styles that can be harmful.
How Dating Someone Not-Your-Type Can Be Good For You
It’s hardly surprising that dating only people who are our type limits us from meeting folks who have the potential to build an excellent connection with us. For instance, when you keep dating over-protective people just because they have a pair of blue eyes, you are actually preventing yourself from having a hale and hearty bond with someone.
So, to help you open up your mind, here are the top five reasons you should start dating someone outside of your type!
1. Initial Attraction Doesn’t Always Translate to Strong Compatibility
You’ve exchanged sights with a stunning woman across the room, and you feel that electric connection when you start making conversations. But, does that automatically mean that you’ve found the right person? Do you really believe that just because you had one of the most alluring nights in your life a long and lasting relationship will appear out of thin air?
The initial chemistry that happens between the two of you is not the deciding factor in whether you can make things work with that person. It might be a hard pill to swallow but the spark you have the first time you meet her probably won’t last as long as you want it to be. Similarly, the absence of a spark doesn’t always translate to a monotonous journey down the road.
2. You Probably Never Have A Type
There is a big probability that you don’t actually have a type in the first place. What you did all these times was limit your options to the image of an ideal romantic partner in your head. By expanding your horizons and meeting new types of people, you might realize that you don’t actually have a type all along. This happens to a lot of people, though.
Many of us jump into the dating scene with a specific set of expectations in our luggage and immediately throw out someone from our potential partner list when they don’t tick all the boxes. This, unfortunately, is not the best approach when it comes to finding a partner. Instead, you will want to set aside certain rules in your head and see what kind of people you meet.
3. You’ll Be Open to Fresh Romantic Experiences
Our types actually go way beyond our personal preferences. Many of us are also taught by our parents to choose our partners based on things like religion, cultural background, and other familial norms. Yet, on the other hand, what we often forget is the fact that, as we grow as an individual, we often outgrow those preferences without even knowing it.
Types, after all, are more like stereotypes. Yes, you can rely on them at times, but there are a lot of instances when they are actually keeping you from meeting the person you deserve. When you broaden your scope of potential romantic partners, you are opening yourself to a bigger pool filled with potentially exciting and awesome individuals.
When it comes to dating, everyone has a preference. Some of us might be naturally drawn to active ladies or folks with high intelligence. What we often fail to realize is that these preferences might become somewhat rigid, preventing us from being open to someone who doesn’t fall into that particular category.
While it is totally normal for people to have types, it can be a problematic thing for your romantic life. You don’t have to feel guilty if you can’t do anything about your tendency to be drawn to a specific type, but opening yourself to the possibility of getting to know someone without those characteristics can be a mind-boggling experience!