Let’s say you hear a couple swooning over each other in a cutesy wootsy baby voice while you’re strolling around. Perhaps you believe that behavior is not normal for adults to do. However, did you know that baby talk is used by up to two-thirds of couples in longtime relationship? Interestingly, this conversation is often kept secret between the two of them.
Below, we’ll talk about the use of baby talk in couples, including the science behind it and whether it is beneficial for us!
The Science Behind Baby Talk
Couples often use baby talk to one another. What makes them do it, then? First and foremost, it’s critical to comprehend what baby talk is. It’s not how infants communicate with each other. It’s the dramatic pitch, rhythm, and intonation that caregivers use when conversing with their little ones, usually done to teach them how to communicate.
Furthermore, it’s not exclusive to English. When speaking to babies, people from all cultures will adjust their intonation and pitch. Studies have indicated that this form of speech genuinely sets off a flood of neurotransmitters that encourage babies to learn. But when it comes to romance, the emphasis is more on expressing affection than on transferring expertise.
The affection exchange theory states that certain vocal behaviors are used to express feelings of affection. These consist of speaking softly, in an exaggerated tone, and with a high pitch. These characteristics coincidentally align with the way the majority of individuals interact with infants. However, the phenomenon has more than one aspect to it.
It also shows how a unique linguistic environment is being created and walled off from the outside world, giving couples a place to express themselves without being constrained by the conventions and challenges of everyday adult conversations. In both romantic and close friendships, the use of this customized communication technique is necessary.
Baby Talk Is Actually Very Common
Parents converse with each other and with babies in a fairly similar way. This resemblance may result from their shared emotional intimacy, which is thought to facilitate a sincere conversational environment. That’s why baby talk denotes closeness, whether it’s through cutesy nicknames or a change in tone.
A parent can build love, a sense of security, and bonding with their child by speaking to them in this way. The same holds true for romantic relationships between adults. All people speak in this way naturally and universally. In essence, it shows that you want to strengthen your relationship with your partner.
Some may call it a couple speak, but “infant-directed speech” is the more widely used clinical term. According to psychoanalytic theory, people can regress to a previous developmental stage. As a matter of fact, most couples use it as a means of getting closer or as a common way to show vulnerability.
It feels even more special when we use sounds that babies frequently make while with our partner. It’s almost like the couple has invented their own confidential language in tandem. Furthermore, it helps to awaken our inner children, the parts of us that yearn for tenderness and love without conditions.
How People Respond to Baby Talk
It’s likely that you have also heard baby talk in romantic settings, aside from the adult-infant dynamic. Baby talk in adult relations is more common than you might think, whether you dragging out some words while snapping at your partner or overhearing your friend’s murmur into the phone with viscous sweetness.
However, opinions on baby talk are so divided that while some find it extremely annoying, others find it wonderfully comforting. On TikTok, thousands of videos surface when you search for “couples baby talk.” The most watched ones fall between “couples who use baby talk excessively” and “sue me for admiring baby talk.”
What causes such divisive responses to this practice? The baby voice represents inequality and undervaluation to some people. It makes them think of how condescending their parents were to them when they were preteens, especially when their choices were not taken seriously. Thus, that trauma is triggered when their partner speaks to them in that way.
On the other hand, some people feel forced to take on the role of nurturer when their partner speaks in a baby voice. This is because contextualizing a relationship involves numerous identity intersections and gender is often a usual expression of power. Nonetheless, studies show that couples who engage in baby talk have stronger bonds with one another.
When you and your romantic partner use this love language, it shows that you both feel secure and at ease in the relationship. Again, it opens up a new realm of intimacy and sensuality for partners by allowing you to show the goofy, innocent sides of yourself that you cannot display in the workplace, with friends, or in other social situations.
Both partners must take turns being the “baby” in order to avoid a power imbalance in the relationship. Men are usually against it here because they think it’s not “masculine.” And most people can agree that it is cringe-worthy when couples engage in baby talk in public, regardless of where they stand in a relationship.
The Takeaway
Since baby talk is not a disorder, don’t feel so bad if you’ve been using it with your loved ones in longtime relationship. It’s more about having a unique habit that’s fun and distinctive to the pair, close to having some sort of secret language. A nearby passerby could become confused when they listen to it, but, as a couple, you should see it as a testimony of your connection.
